Total Random Crack
by Flower of the Desert
Summary: A total crack fic. funny. better than it sounds! no pairings.


**What can I say? This fic is total random-ness and total crack. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Characters in this story, or some of the lines used in this story.**

**- - - - -**

"Now children, when you go home what do you do?" Iruka asked.

"We watch Elmo." The students chanted.

"What happens after you watch Elmo?" Iruka asked robotically.

"We obey. We OBEY Elmo." The children chanted like drones.

"**THAT IS RIGHT! ELMO THE EVIL OVERLORD SHALL HAVE YOUR SOUL FOR BREAKFAST IF YOU DON'T OBEY!" **Iruka said, turning off the lights and holding a flashlight up at his chin.

"**WHY AREN'T YOU COWERING IN FEAR?!**" Iruka asked after getting no response from his destructo-droids, I mean students, students…

"Sensei, it might work better if you turn the flashlight on." A child suggested.

-turns on flashlight-

"**SILENCE YOU FOOLS! OBEY! OBEY! OBEY! OBEY!" **Iruka was promptly dragged off to Camp Happy Happy Joy Joy; you know the place the men with the long needles take you for therapy.

In a non-descriptive part of Konoha

"You know I just remembered something about when I was a kid." Sasuke said, swinging from a tree branch like the good little monkey he is.

_Flashback_

"_Son, this may not make sense now, but one day you are going to wake up next to a woman, and wonder 'Why do I have a tattoo on my arm that says Paul?'_

Wait, wrong flashback, Christine, I thought I said # 465983872 not #2317684652!

Christine- sorry ma'am.

**THAT'S SUPREME OVERLORD OF THE WORLD TO YOU!!**

Christine- Been hitting the white stuff pretty hard, huh?

**YOU MEAN**, oops, forgot to turn the **big voice** off. You mean Cheese its?

Christine- Are Cheese its white?

Yes. Yes they are.

Christine- I got the flashback!

**GOOD! ROLL IT YOU SUGAR SNIFFING FOOL!!!**

_Flashback_

"_Son, some day our pride and joy, Itachi, will murder the entire clan. Except you. Then some day you will return the favor, and kill your brother, their by avenging the clan. Of course, then you will have to find a wife and revive the clan. I wish you luck son." Sasuke's father said to Sasuke, patting him on the shoulder._

"_Mommy, Daddy's been hitting the white stuff pretty hard, and I don't mean Cheese its!" _

_End Flashback_

"You didn't mean sugar ether." Naruto stated with a knowing look.

"Ya think?" Sakura said sarcastically.

"No, I don't do that anymore." Naruto stated simply, picking his teeth with a poison needle.

"We see." Sasuke said, sitting on a tire swing, a MAGICAL tire swing. Sakura fed him a banana and took him back to the zoo. The MAGICAL zoo.

Naruto went to do what else? Eat ramen. Like he has a life other than ramen.

"2+2 is19! Yes! I'm a genius!" Naruto yelled.

"What are you eating? Retard ramen?" Shikamaru asked, clearly annoyed at someone who kept using the **big voice** on him. Wonder who that is…

"I cant believe I'm not a genius!" Naruto cried

"I cant believe your such a retard!" Shikamaru said, still angry about the **big voice** thing.

"I cant believe Its not Landa Lakes Butter with Canola Oil." Ino said sitting down. She just got caught trying to feed the animals at the zoo.

She tried to feed them Margaritas.

"Don't feed the animals my"

Now for some child block with Elmo!

Elmo- **OBEY ME YOU PITIFUL EXCUSES FOR SUBJECTS! YOU ARE JUST MOTHER- **

Ok, that didn't work. How about form Kakashi?

Kakashi- And look at what they do on page 12!

SO MUCH MENTAL SCARING! THAT DIDN'T WORK ETHER!!!!

"Feed Kitty Cat a cat treat!" Temari screamed at Kankuro, feeding him some Meow Mix.

"Meow Mix, the new Cat chow brand from Purina. So good cats ask for it by name!" recited Gaara.

-snap, snap, snap, snap-

"Oh yea, I'm feeling this poem." Choji said, at an open mike poetry reading, where Gaara was reciting some 'original' poetry.

Original my-

TIME FOR SOME CHILD BLOCK FORM SAKURA!

Sakura- this is Sasuke –points to pic of Sasuke- he is mine. Not yours. Mine. Got it? Then BACK OFF YOU B-

Didn't work, how about Naruto?

Welcome to the Retard Ramen shopping channel! Buy all the retard ramen you want for only 12 easy payments of $100,000,000,000,000,000! Buy now!

**I'LL TAKE TWENTY! TWENTY THOUSAND!! **

Naruto-DID YOU JUST USE THE BIG VOICE WITH ME!?

Umm…No?

**- - - - -**

**Hope you liked! A lot more crack than my usual, but I was in the mood. The mood for CHEESE ITS! GIMMIE!**


End file.
